cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize