i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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