one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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