You work out of a Hotel?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
