You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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