I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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