Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How's work?
Spinning.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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