i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
