i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
