4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
one two three fourrrrnication!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
