i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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