I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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