i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
