i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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