This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
