a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
