i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
