Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
