You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
