i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
