why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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