i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
