How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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