Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
