She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
