she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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