So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
