420 ftw
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
