Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
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Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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