dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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