So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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