how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The power of my boobs compel you
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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