East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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