Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
