Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So much Jack, so little girl.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
