dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
