people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
