i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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