come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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