Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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