How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
