i jhust puked up my retainher.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
