he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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