Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
