Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
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its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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