I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize