Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
