Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
