it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
