He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
