I got chris browned last night
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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