My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
