check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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