True but thats because hes a fetus.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This toilet bowl is my home.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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