I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
