My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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